Segundas Lecturas de Viejas Situaciones

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You never completed that dare. The one I threw your way, not so long ago. And since you couldn't manage it, I still have the little tin box. That means the ball is in my court and it is still my turn to taunt you. So for the sake of healthy competition and speeding up the intensity of the game, I'll make this dare harder to achieve than the one before.

I'm usually the one who gets upset, and yet I'm usually the one who ends up apologizing. I bet anything you will never say you're sorry first. I bet you will never be the one to take the first step towards recovery. I bet you will never see my side of things and therefore you will never get where you went wrong. I know where I did, but I refuse to correct my mistakes when you can't even fully understand yours. So I dare you to blink first, to be the first to give in.

I bet anything I'll gradually slip out of this vicious circle, and stop caring about you. I know that if I had any strength left, I would try to bend myself to fit again into this friendship we used to have. But since I don't, I bet you'll lose me and do nothing to stop it. So I dare you to keep me around.

I bet you could never be the white side of this chessboard. I bet if I did nothing, said nothing, tried nothing; you would sit there without so much as breathing, waiting for me to do something so you could react. Because that's the way things have been so far. Because that's how it was today. And this week. And last week. And the week before that. So I dare you to be the one who makes the first move.

You fail to notice so many things that are right under your nose. You never realized how much energy it took me to keep up with your stuff; never realized how much effort it took for a self-centered girl to put everything related to her to one side, so she could focus her attention on a self-centered boy.

True, you did nothing wrong to me. You never did anything to break us. But you didn't try to stop it, either; when just SHOWING ME that you cared, that you missed me, that you were curious or concerned about what went on in my life during those days, would have been enough. And so, we broke. Allow me to be perfectly clear on this particular point: I will NOT be the one to pick up our pieces. If you want this fixed, you better damn well do it yourself.

I know for a fact you have enough good stuff going on in your life right now, so you can actually afford to let this slide. I also know you have enough difficulties on your plate, so you can actually refuse to actively deal with this. If it is so, I won't hold a grudge against you. I assume you'll expect things to naturally go back to normal, and I promise you they will to some degree. You'll get to have me like you had me today: I'll play nice, I'll be around, I'll talk, I'll joke.

But I won't be the friend I was before. Because I have come now to believe that you don't want that friend anymore, 'cause you no longer need her. Because I don't think you miss her that much, anyways. Because this has affected me unfairly more than it has affected you. Because to me it's blatantly clear that I care about you more than you ever did about me. And when I say "care", it has nothing to do with the bomb I dropped on you two weeks ago. I honestly believe that as a friend, taking all the bullshit aside, you just don't care enough.

So here it is, kid. The boldest, most audacious dare I'll ever throw your way:

I dare you to prove me wrong.

Cap, ou PAS CAP?